One Of The Writers For OITNB Says The Show Made Her Realize She Was A Lesbian And She Left Her Husband For Poussey

September 15, 2014 / Posted by:

One of the head writers for Orange Is the New Black, Lauren Morelli (not to be confused with Lorna “Chris-TUH-fuh” Morello, who is…not a real person), recently confessed in an essay written for Identities.Mic back in May (via People) that writing about Piper Chapman getting finger-banged by Donna from That 70s Show made her realize that, despite being married to a dude, she was totally a gayelle. Oh, and that she’s in love with Poussey (aka Samira Wiley).

Lauren says that she had been married for all of 5 months when she got the job writing for OITBN, and but the second she stepped on set she knew she was ready to pawn her wedding ring for a one-way bus ticket to Downtown Pussy Town. Writing about the hot gayelle love between Piper and Donna (or Donna with glasses, whatever her character’s name is) made her think “Hmmm, maybe I don’t love dick as much as I thought I did” and she started to take a mental inventory of all the times she felt like a lesbian, which as it turned out, was all the time. So she came out as a gayelle to her husband and filed for divorce. I guess that makes her ex-husband the Larry in her life. Did anyone else all start hating Lauren’s ex-husband all of a sudden? Goddamn Larry! He’s the WORST.

Making the transition from penis to pussy can be difficult, and Lauren could have had her pick of any of the pussy-poppin’ ladies of the OITNB cast (are you looking at that flawless Macklemore hair? How could they resist!). Personally, I would have picked Flaca or Black Cindy, but Lauren chose the very adorable Samira Wiley, aka Poussey.

I’m sure some of you are wondering why Lauren didn’t celebrate her switch from dicks to dykes by adopting a “go big or go home” attitude and skipping past an entry-level lesbian like Poussey and going straight for Big Boo, but NO! That’s like learning to swim by getting thrown in the deep end of the pool! You can’t start with Big Boo! Big Boo’s pussy has a difficulty rating of 7.8! Big Boo is for experienced lesbians ONLY!

Pic: Instagram

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