Open Post: Hosted By The Stunningly Glorious Spaz de la Huerta

September 5, 2014 / Posted by:

I can’t tell if Spaz de la Huerta is SANS FARDS and just naturally has the complexion of a melting Crayon or if she’s wearing extra oily foundation in shade “sunburnt corpse.” That is the mystery of Spaz de la Huerta.

At a Dom Perignon event in Brooklyn the other night, this modern day Aphrodite graced the peons with her opulence and beauty. But you know, every event Spaz goes to can easily turn into a Dom Perignon event since everything she touches turns to Dom and she pisses out the stuff. Or maybe she pisses out Andre. I get Dom and Andre mixed up all the time.

From the tits down, Spaz looked like the mistress of a dead, mid-level mobster who put on her most elegant gown to crash his funeral and show his bitch wife the sexiness he’s been screwing for months. From the tits up, Spaz looks like a Catholic grandmama who’s been sunbathing outside of her apartment building in Rockaway Beach all afternoon (or like a “just out of the tanning bed” Steven Tyler). Only Spaz can work two completely different looks at once.

And yes, Spaz has the eyebrows of my middle-aged Salvadoran uncle, but she makes them work. Spaz is always changing my perception of glamour A true style and beauty goddess.

Pics: AP, Getty, Splash

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