Open Post: Hosted By Ansel Elgort And Joe Jonas

September 4, 2014 / Posted by:

Here’s 20-year-old actor Ansel Elgort (his name reads like a CAPTCHA) and 25-year-old pucker-inducer Joe Jonas having a bromantic time at the US Open in Queens yesterday. They make the oddest damn pair.

In these pictures, Ansel looks like a college freshmen dropout who once wrote a paper on why Beavis is a meninism icon and who got kicked out of his fraternity for huffing all the freon out of their air conditioning unit several times. And Joe Jonas looks like an OCD neat freak who is obsessed with the 70s, has a grey Persian cat named Farrah and regularly hosts fondue parties where his guests have to come dressed as their favorite Charlie’s Angel. (I think I just described the gay brother of Larry from Three’s Company.) Even in that picture they look like they’re having completely different experiencs while sitting next to each other. Ansel is either in the middle of letting out a slow fart or he just told a fart joke to himself and is giggling. Joe looks like he spots a hag across the way and is reading her ugly outfit before cleansing his soul with a giant swig of champagne from that stunning goblet. And yet, they’re friends.  It’s like what noted philosopher Paula Abdul once said, “I take two steps forward, I take two steps back, we come together, cuz opposites attract.”

Oh, and Joe did this for the photographers:


Too, too easy. Or should I say, “doo doo hard,” since it seems that’s what Joe is trying to push out.

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