Jennifer Aniston Says That Getting Knocked Up Doesn’t Make Her A Better Woman

August 27, 2014 / Posted by:

During an interview with Carson Daily on the Today show Wednesday morning, the world’s most famous forever alone Jennifer Aniston was asked by the talking blue-eyed peanut himself about interviewing Gloria Steinem for the MAKERS Conference back in February where she touched on the fact that everybody cares SO MUCH whether or not Jenny’s womb has a fetus in it by saying “Being a woman, your value and worth is associated with marital status or whether or not you’ve procreated.” Rachel from Friends explained that just because a screaming baby hasn’t dropped from her crotch doesn’t mean she’s nothing more than a useless Smartwater-filled sack with a good set of highlights.

“I don’t have this sort of checklist of things that have to be done, and.. if they’re not checked, then I’ve failed some part of my feminism or my being a woman or my worth and my value as a woman because I haven’t birthed a child. I’ve birthed a lot of things. I feel like I’ve mothered many things and I don’t think it’s fair to put that pressure [of having children] on people.”

As someone who has never rented my womb to a fetus, I sort of get what Jennifer Aniston is saying. Because while there will always be normal, rational people that are like “You do you, dawg“, there’s bound to be one or two loud-mouth assholes who are happy to tell you they think you’re a life loser for not getting married or having a kid. I used to know this smug bitch who acted like letting her husband bust a bareback nut into her vag and getting knocked-up was some Nobel Prize-level accomplishment and would remind every ho in a 20-foot radius that she’s next in line for the position of whatever Jesus is responsible for in Heaven because she birthed a kid. “Oh, you just started your own business? Well, I made a tiny human, so….” or “You just discovered a potential cure for cancer? Well, I looked into the hopeful eyes of my son Braedyn-Jaymez as he woke up this morning, so…”

Which isn’t to say that birthing a kid isn’t an accomplishment (it totally is; I’ve seen Call The Midwife, that shit is WORK) but it also doesn’t mean you fail at life if you haven’t. For example, I’ve managed to keep a cactus alive for 4 years now. I’d say that counts for something, right? Oh god, please let that count for something…

And of course Jenny has birthed a lot of things. Justin Theroux’s career, for example. NO! He was totally successful before hooking up with Rachel from Friends, and her A-list status and industry connections have nothing to do with it! I’m totally going to take shit from one of my friends who is a massive Justin Theroux fan (yes, they exist) for saying that.

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