Hot Slut Of The Day!

13 Dead End Drive! The board game from the early 90s that Clue birthed out 9 months after it got barebacked boned by Mouse Trap in the secret passage from the study to the kitchen.

13 Dead End Drive was pretty much a knock-off of Clue complete with secret passages and hot bitches with blunt cuts (see: Parker the Asian chauffeur and Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White), but instead of trying to figure out who murdered who in what room and with which weapon, players had to try to kill each other off and be the last gold digger standing. In 13 Dead End Drive, a rich old woman dies and her gold digging staff and friends gather at her mansion to fight for her estate. Each player played at least one character and the main goal was to kill off the other bitches standing in the way of all that money by setting off traps in the mansion (example: a falling chandelier, a falling knight statue).

3D board games were EVERYTHING in the 90s and blew young minds. 13 Dead End Drive didn’t have the production values of the greatest 3D board game that ever existed Fireball Island, but it did take approximately 45 hours to set up. There were so many damn pieces and you practically needed a contractors license to set that shit up.

The other thing I remember about 13 Dead End Drive is that this goddess was in it:

Spritzy was the dead rich lady’s hair stylist and the most gorgeous, glamorous goddess in the game. If Pete Burns made out with Jocelyn Wildenstein under the sun and parts of her face melted onto his, he’d look exactly like Spritzy. I’m surprised that Spritzy didn’t win every single game, because she could easily knock all her gold digging rivals out with those crowbar brows.

And now I really want to buy 13 Dead End Drive on eBay and search Angie’s List for a few handymen who can set up that complicated ass game for me.