Night Crumbs

August 4, 2014 / Posted by:

Just like her twin, Ashley Olsen is doing a 40-something dude full-time. 28-year-old Ashley is dating 47-year-old director Bennet Miller. Here I was thinking that the tears of a newborn child and the soul of a baby squirrel is what fed the dark troll orbs in the Olsens’ chests, but nope. It’s obvious that the sweat from a middle-aged man’s ballsack is what feeds their dark hearts- Lainey GossipĀ 

NeNe Leakes is going back to The Real Housewives of Atlanta and that’s wonderful and everything, but when is Bravo going to bring back the true star of the show DeShawn “Lock Jaw” Snow? – Reality Tea

But why is Duchess Kate wearing the jacked-up tissue paper flower I made for my mom on Valentine’s Day in the first grade? – Celebitchy

The teaser for Nicki Minaj’s video for “Anaconda” needs more Sir Mix-A-Lot and less of her jiggling Fix-A-Flat ass – Drunken Stepfather

Oh, it’s just a construction worker giving a fawn a belly rub – Towleroad

Lindsay Lohan looks good….when her face is covered, there’s barely any light in the room and she’s wearing a neon bikini that distracts your eyes – The Superficial

Please don’t poot out a Vegemite fart, please don’t poot out a Vegemite fart” – the poodle posing on the cover of GQ Italia with Kylie MinogueHollywood Tuna

If you hate Taylor Swift and aren’t looking to change that, don’t watch this video of her singing to a young cancer patient, because it might make you hate her a little less – Popsugar

No, it’s not windy in London. That’s just the angels playing with Christina Hendricks’ ginger hair – Popoholic

Brittny Gastineau giving you “dead Tampa, FL hooker whose body washed up on the shores of a swamp” chic – WWTDD

Idiocracy is becoming more and more real. Case in point – Jezebel

Does this mean that in a few months, Orlando Bloom and Ian Somerhalder will scrap at a party in Ibiza? – ICYDK

Man nipples for your Monday – The Berry

In “Big Mistake, HUGE!” news, Christina Hendricks’ agents dropped her for signing on to Mad MenOMG Blog

Today, the word “NOOOOOOOOO” is brought to you by Vince Vaughn being considered for True Detective 2 – Pajiba

Sony is going to do a movie starring a female superhero from the Spider-Man world – HuffPo

Liam Payne slaps at the bitches who are calling him fat – Boy Culture

And here’s North West making a “Harpo, who dis gay fish?” face – Just Jared

Pic: FameFlynet

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