Hot Slut Of The Day!

August 3, 2014 / Posted by:

Sir Chomps-a-Lot, the rich-ass ravioli-obsessed cartoon alligator!

Back in 1994, all kids wanted to be wealthy as shit thanks to movies like Blank Check and Richie Rich. All of a sudden, kids started demanding indoor pools and snobby butlers and personal trampolines for their feet. Chef Boyardee knew that these little wanna-be bougie brats wouldn’t eat just any old crappy canned ravioli, so they released a new, more sophisticated crappy canned ravioli, the mascot of which was a British alligator named Sir Chomps-a-Lot.

Sir Chomps-a-Lot was Downton Abbey before Downton Abbey existed. He was a posh old-money reptile aristocrat who lived in a fancy-ass castle and had a butler who followed him around with piping-hot bowls of Chef Boyardee ravioli. Rich people usually have a taste for the finer things in life, which is probably why Sir Chomps went gaga for Chef Boyardee ravioli. That shit is made with ground-up snail penises and cow hearts, and those sound like the kind of fancy foods that would appeal to the refined palate of a high-class alligator.

Even though he looks legit, there’s something suspicious about Sir Chomps-a-Lot. Alligators are native to Florida and Louisiana, not England, and I can’t find any record of The Queen ever knighting an alligator. Not to mention that accent sounds fake as fuck. Holy shit, I think Sir Chomps-a-Lot might be a FRAUD! I bet he was actually born Chompy Nelson in a Florida swamp, escaped to the UK by hiding in a crate of oranges, found a castle, ate the family inside, changed his name, and slowly worked his way into high society. I’m on to you, Sir Chomps-a-Lot!

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