Shailene Woodley Wants You To LEAVE MILEY CYRUS ALOOOONE!

June 26, 2014 / Posted by:

Human dreamcatcher Shailene Woodley took a break from making shampoo from hand-crushed wildflowers and shopping for a high-energy piece of quartz (because she has a stubborn headache that just won’t go away) to give an interview for Vanity Fair’s “Hollywood’s Next Wave” issue. Shailene was her usual Shailene-y self (“In lieu of a designer [water] bottle, Woodley clutches a glass Mason jar”) and maybe it was the result of going off on a tangent about exposed pussies, but she started talking about Miley Cyrus:

“Miley isn’t rude or mean or cruel to anyone in her actions. She just does herself. And regardless of whether you agree with what she’s doing or not, it’s none of your business what she does. She’s not in the world doing mean things. Why are all these parents or all these people freaking out about Miley being herself? If you don’t want your kids to watch it, you know, you can change that situation at home, but don’t make a big deal of what she’s doing. Make a big deal about the bullies at school who are beating kids up.”

Shailene Woodley is a vegan (I know, I’m shocked too) so of course she’s coming to the defence of Miley Cyrus. Most people would freak out and call animal control or turn on the hose if they came face to face with a rabid rodent like Miley Cyrus, but not Shailene. She comes to the rescue of even the nastiest, greasiest, horniest hillbilly possums. Shailene is a true animal lover.

And I know Shailene would rather us focus on bullies beating kids up, she needs to realize that Miley does her fair share of beating. That poor pussy of hers takes a beating every damn night when Noah hands her a pair of dirty tweezers so she can rip out every last hair and squeeze it into a suffocating snap-bottom bodysuit.

Pic: Splash

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