Lana Del Rey Is On Frances Bean Cobain’s Shit List For Saying She Wanted To Die Early Like Kurt Cobain

June 23, 2014 / Posted by:

For once in her career as human horse tranquillizer, Lana Del Rey managed to evoke the opposite of a feeling of extreme drowsiness after she told The Guardian that she wished she was “dead already” like her heroes Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse, causing everyone to wake up and violently kick a chair towards her so she could have several seats. Even Kurt was sending her a “sleepy skank, please” side-eye from Heaven.

Of course, once she realized she sounded like a dum-dum, that crafty Ambien chanteuse tried to convince us she was baited by The Guardian into saying such things. Nice try, Lana Del Don’t Operate Heavy Machinery, but Frances Bean Cobain comes from a long line of super-slueths and can smell your bullshit from a mile away! Frances was having none of Lana’s nonsense, and decided to bust that drowsy ho out on Twitter:

I agree with everything Frances says, including the part about being too talented. Most department store mannequins just stand motionless with a vacant expression on their faces, but Lana Del Rey has managed to learn how to slowly sway back and forth in an attempt to appear almost lifelike, open and close her eyelids as if she was blinking, and emit a 3-note yawn to simulate singing. She’s practically human! If only she could learn how to look less plastic, she could be bigger than Jeff from Today’s Special.

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