Hot Slut Of The Day!
2003 was a trying year for all of us, because for most of the year the our heads were the semi-permanent home of Lumidee’s only hit Never Leave You (Uh Oh). There’s a good reason for why that song’s title is “Never Leave You,” because it never ever fucking leaves you. “Uh ooooooh” crawled into our ear tunnels, made its way deep into our heads and squatted there for what felt like a never-ending eternity. We were are stumbling around while mumbling “uh ooooh” to ourselves like we were possessed by the spirit of a zombie Teletubbie. I don’t know anybody who will admit to liking that song, but I know many hos who have banged their head on the wall after that song got stuck in their brain’s tightest crevice.
The East Harlem nightingale never had any hits after The Uh Oh Song, but that doesn’t really matter. Because she made her mark in music and on our brains. The last part should be taken literally. If a surgeon opened up our heads and examined our brains, they’d find “UH OH” scratched into it.
And you truly haven’t experienced the full psychological torture of Lumidee’s masterpiece until you’ve heard her sing it live. Even JLo is saying, “Gurrrrl, your vocal cords need a GPS because they can’t find the key.”
Now I know why Lumidee never became a giant superstar. Celine Dion, Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey all got together and got her blacklisted from the industry, because they knew they could never compete with her stunning voice. Uh oooooooooooh uh oooooooh…