CPS Says Everything’s Cool At The Smith House After Investigating Those Pictures Of Willow In Bed With A 20-Year-Old
Praise Xenu (but keep it on the down-low), kewl mom and dad Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith are in the clear! Last month, CPS came a-knocking at the Pinkett-Smith house after some maybe-not-wrong-but-definitely-not-right pictures emerged on the internet of 13-year-old Willow Smith laying on a bed with the 20-year-old bastard child of Max and Anne from Guess Who?, Moisés Arias. And after much deliberation (aka the appearance of a mysterious $50,000 cheque from Thetans Credit Union) Radar says that CPS has packed up their magnifying glasses and stopped snooping around Casa del DoWhateverTheFuckYouWant, because they didn’t find anything:
A source told us that after investigators examined the case and spoke with those involved, they discovered “no evidence presented that Willow has ever been in any danger around Moises, or that she has ever been physically or emotionally abused,” adding they found Willow to be “a very well adjusted, smart, and articulate young lady.”
The source also went on to say that no action has been taken against Will and Jada, except they were warned to keep an eye on their kids social media so that this shit doesn’t happen again. Hahahaha – “Keep an eye on their kids.” Good one CPS! And no word on whether or not CPS will return to investigate those not-right pictures of a constipated-looking Jaden Smith being straddled by Marla Hooch, but I’m guessing they won’t, since it’s pretty obvious from the pictures that all Backup Khloe was after was attention.
Well, there you have it – nothing sucio happened between Willow Smith and human monchichi Moisés Arias, case closed. CPS can finally return to the office after their four-week investigation at the Smiths, and start tackling the 8,000 frantic voicemails left by the fetuses growing inside Kate Major and Tila Tequila.