Maybe Mimi’s In-House Photoshop Artiste Had The Day Off

June 15, 2014 / Posted by:

On Friday, Mimi tweeted this picture with the caption “quality time with #dembabies” (Side note: Those babies are only 3-years-old and they’re already so politically active. I mean, choosing a political party at such a young age!) along with pictures of her twins and she looked so fresh and so skinny. But Buzzfeed, being the regular Detective La Toyas they are, somehow remembered seeing that picture years ago. That picture of a fresh and skinny Mimi was used in an episode of Oprah in 1997. Buzzfeed has accused the Empress of Fakery and Photoshop of trying to trick her lambs into thinking that a picture of her from 1997 is a picture of her today. Basically, Mimi IS my tia who cried and begged the DMV to not make her change her 10-year-old drivers license picture.

The picture of 1997 Mimi is on top of other pictures, so Mimi could’ve been spending quality time with her twins by working out their eye rolling muscles while showing them pictures from her glory days of when she was fresher, skinnier and selling 75k albums a minute instead of 75k a week. But I’m going to choose to believe that Mimi tried to trick her lambs with an old pic, because that’s a Mimi thing to do. Why pay your in-house Photoshop artiste $100 an hour when you can just use old pictures of herself? I hope Mimi goes all the way and tweets this tomorrow:


And then a couple of days after that, I hope she takes the fuckery even further by tweeting this:


No, Mimi would never do that. Look at the gut on that fetus. Mimi would make her Photoshop artiste use the Spanx tool on that fetus belly before tweeting it.

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