Keira Knightley Stays “Real” By Giving Herself A $50,000 A Year Salary

While one single serving of Goopy Paltrow’s diamond, Dom Perignon and white rhino tears butt enema costs more than $50,000, Keira Knightley tries to not spend more than that a year on stuff, because she never wants to become a snobby asshole bitch. KK talks a lot about how she keeps her Payless-covered feets on the ground by not spending all her Pirates of the Caribbean money on frivolous shit, so during an interview with Glamour they asked her about her budget. KK says that she mostly gives herself that salary so she can hang around with normal people who don’t live that “eating caviar off of a $2,000/hour call girl’s ass on a yacht docked near Sardinia” life.

“Yes, it’s something around that. I mean, if I want or need something that goes over that, I get it, but, yes, around that. I think living an [expensive] lifestyle means you can’t hang out with people who don’t live that lifestyle. It alienates you. Some of my best, most hilarious times have been in the least luxurious places.”

I’m assuming that KK’s houses are paid for, her cars are paid and she gets a pile of free crap from Chanel. Because I can imagine a lot of crazy things (examples: John Travolta having sex with a woman and only giggling once the entire time and Khlozilla petting a bunny rabbit without biting into its neck and sucking its blood out), but I cannot imagine KK going home to her studio apartment in London and eating a Subway six-incher on the half-broken Ikea table that’s half-broken because she had to build it herself. That $50k must be her spending money. I wonder how KK’s poor friends feel about her “I’m so real” budget? They probably smile a fake smile and say in a monotone voice, “That’s very sweet of her,” while cursing her name, because they thought that one of the perks of being KK’s poor friends is that she’ll treat them to Jason Wu bags and yacht trips and shit.