Devastating News For The Two Of Us Who Watched: Fox Has Dumped “I Wanna Marry Harry”

June 12, 2014 / Posted by:

The halls of Buckingham Palace will be filled with a high-pitched cackle and for once it won’t be Prince Charles loudly giggling as Camilla pegs him. The cackle will be coming from THE QUEEN who will be celebrating Britain’s latest victory over the US! Fox has killed the reality turd show that tricked a bunch of American girls (who were obviously raised in trees in the middle of a desolate forest) into thinking that they were competing to marry the real Prince Hot Ginge and become the newest Princess of England.

Deadline says that Americans wanted to divorce “I Wanna Marry Harry,” so Fox pulled it from its schedule and are replacing it with reruns of shows that people actually watched. “I Wanna Marry Harry” (alternate title: “I Need A Lobotomy“) only lasted 4 episodes and under a million pairs of eyeballs watched Tuesday night’s episode. Tomorrow, Fox will throw up all unaired episodes on their website and OnDemand.

The truth is, I’m not exactly putting on a black veil and throwing my body onto the coffin of “I Wanna Marry Harry” while screaming at God to take me too. Unlike 99.999999999% of this country, I watched every episode that aired and it was a painful experience (and this is coming from a piece of trash who thinks Flavor of Love is one of the best things to ever happen to my TV). On Tuesday night’s episode, Prince Mildly Attractive Blonde With A Bad Dye Job got rid of the one girl who has a brain cell and realized that the dude who’s supposed to be Prince Harry was probably not Prince Harry. I don’t know how many more episodes I could take and I don’t know how much more my dog could take of me screaming, “You dumb bitch, get it together,” at the screen.

Instead of traumatizing what’s left of my brain by binge watching all the episodes at once, I’m just going to skip to the last episode. (Yeah right, I’m totally going to binge watch all of the episodes, because my brain is a dumpster.) I hope that my favorite Maggie takes it all:


And when Not Prince Hot Ginge tells her that he’s a fake ginge and a fake prince, I hope Drunk Maggie shrugs and says, “Err, okay, do you still wanna get drunk and fuck?

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