Shailene Woodley, the organic free-range flower child with the monster truck rally name, wanted to go to the movies to see A Walk to Remember 2: More Cancer, More Tears aka The Fault in Our Stars, but she didn’t want to be mobbed by her fans (all ten of them) so she decided to pull a Pistachio Disguisey and concealed her identity by wearing a wig. Just a wig. Dear CIA: I think I’ve found your next head of Spy Training.
Shailene’s co-star Ansel Elgort posted this picture of the two of them to Instagram at a screening of The Fart in Our Shorts on Sunday with the caption: “Shai’s amazing disguise to go see #tfios last night without causing a scene!”, but has since deleted the picture, probably because Shailene was pissed that after working so hard on crafting such an elaborate disguise, Ansel went and blew her cover. HOW RUDE! Now she has to use her fall-back costume: a pair of Groucho Marx glasses.
Even with the wig, Shailene should know she’d never get away with going incognito to the movies. It would be game over the second she pulled up to the valet station at the ArcLight asking where she could plug in her Nissan LEAF (“I think that’s Shailene Woodley”), then she’d start loudly complaining that her movie tickets were printed on paper and not processed hemp sheets using soy-based inks (“That’s definitely Shailene Woodley”), then demanding to speak to the manager to find out if their popcorn is certified non-GMO local organic fair-trade kettle-cooked maize (“Shailene, you can take off the wig now, we know it’s you”).