Canada is a wacky, upside-down country. They have two types of money. They apologize for everything. You can walk into a hospital without your wallet and leave with a new kidney of your choosing. Despite this, you don’t need a US-to-Canadian translation book when traveling north of the border. All the words are the same. Stop means Stop. Drunk means Drunk. Go Fuck Youself is still Go Fuck Yourself (an “eh?” may be added if you want to sound local).
However, Whoopi Goldberg explained on The View Monday that we shouldn’t get mad at the stinky training pants skid-mark Justin Bieber for gleefully belting out “One Less Lonely Nigger” because the American n-word isn’t the same as the Canadian n-word:
“You know, Canadian words — I’m going to say the word so get ready to beat me. Nigger doesn’t mean anything in Canada. And how do I know this? Well, I did a movie last year, in Canada, and a young, wonderful Canadian woman wrote it, and I’m reading it and I’m thinking, ‘We wouldn’t say anything like this.’ So I went to the director and I said, what is this? And he said, oh, she lives here. And I said so she doesn’t know anything, she doesn’t get what we’re talking about.”
“What I’m saying is that, when you are 15 and you’re someplace where that’s not a word that you have associated with people of colour…they weren’t calling them that.”
As a Canadian person who was born in Canada and speaks fluent Canadian (I can watch Trailer Park Boys without the subtitles on), Whoopi is all sorts of wrong on the n-word not being a slur in Canada. It’s still a slur, and a major one at that. Hell, just typing “the n-word” has got me feeling all kinds of gross. So unless Justin Bieber was singing in some weird sub-dialect of Stratford where the n-word is considered a term of endearment, Justin Bieber knew he was being an offensive shithead.
And I bet Jonah Hill is trying to work Whoopi’s theory of Canadian words into his next apology: “I didn’t mean to use the word faggot in a homophobic way, I meant it in the Canadian way.”