Open Post: Hosted By Thor The Lazy Great Dane Puppy Who Is Not Trying To Get Out Of Bed
If you put a sleeping mask on Thor, sprinkled pork rind crumbs around him and his paw was on his crotch, that would be me every single morning.
Thor the Great Dane puppy must work on the Today show (he’s obviously Kathie Lee Gifford’s writer) or he makes the donuts, because his human tried to get his ass up at the hour of the ungodly (read: 3:30am) and he loudly let it be known with his moans of mercy that getting out of bed is the greatest pain he’s ever suffered. Thor’s human should let him sleep in, because his day is full of exhausting chores like eating, shitting, napping, playing with toys, humping stuff, licking his own ass and napping some more. (“I feel that dude’s pain, because I have the same exact schedule.” – KFed) He needs every minute of sleep he can get.
And can Thor please find time in his busy schedule to talk to my dog about the joys of sleeping in, because at exactly 5 o’clock every morning, my dog is up like a tweaker who got a second wind.