Princess Charlene Of Monaco Is Knocked Up With An Heir

May 30, 2014 / Posted by:

In that picture, I don’t know if Princess Charlene is suffering through the morning pregnant barfs or if she’s thinking about the moment that Prince Albert’s naked, greasy, coke sweats-covered bloated body busted nuts all up into her baby making parts. Definitely the latter.

Princess Charlene’s ovaries are finally breathing out ten sighs of relief, because after of years of being pressured to successfully catch one of Prince Albert’s sperm fish, they finally did it. The Royal Family of Monaco announced today that Prison Princess has got the future king or queen of Monaco in her womb. Now she’ll forever be bonded to the balding captor she’s obviously grossed out by. She’s totally living the fairy tale dream! Here’s the short statement from the royal palace:

“Prince Albert and Princess Charlene have the immense joy to announce they are expecting a happy event. The birth is due at the end of the year.”

I’m not sure I’d use the words “immense joy” to describe Princess Charlene bawling into her pink satin pillow in her locked bedchamber, but whatever.

Oh, I’m just being melodramatic as always. I’m sure Princess Charlene is “happy-ish,” because: a) She used a turkey baster since Prince Albert was off doing more important things and by that I mean doing call girls and; b) Right after she births out the heir to the throne, she plans to drug a nurse, steal the nurse’s uniform and passport and flee the country.

Congratulations to the happy-esque couple!

Here’s Princess Charlene looking absolutely thrilled as always with Prince Pierced Peen at the Monaco Grand Prix and Gala.

Pics: Splash

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