Little Green Sprout Is Knocked Up With The Jolly Green Giant’s Baby

May 28, 2014 / Posted by:

A little wider, Hayden, a little wider, just pull your hands about 10 more inches apart and then that’s what your gnome coochie tunnel is going to look like after a giant baby is pulled out of you.

If you watch Nashville, brace yourselves for a “Who’s the daddy?!” storyline, because UsWeekly says one night during a full moon, deep in the Enchanted Forest, the blonde garden gnome Hayden Pantyairs mated with the Ukrainian boxing giant Wladimir Klitschko and they made a fetus together. A source tells UsWeekly that 24-year-old Hayden isn’t half-assed pregnant, she’s “totally” pregnant with 38-year-old fiancĂ©’s giant baby.

When Hayden and Wladimir fuck, it probably looks like a dormouse deep throating a fully grown zucchini, so I can only imagine how giant that baby is going to be. But really, when a garden gnome and a giant mate, will their baby be giant-sized, gnome-sized or somewhere in between? I guess we’ll know the answer if we see a knocked Hayden freaking out in pain as a giant baby leg hangs out of her twat and a giant baby arm hangs out of her mouth.

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