“Hehe, I Can’t Believe This Hot Chick Is Crazy Enough To Want To Do Me On A Regular Basis”

I see that doctors have yet to treat the part of Charlize Theron’s brain that thinks it’s okay to publicly hold hands with the pit-cooked Alf doll Sean Penn. It’s not okay, Charlize! Charlize brought the charred German Shepherd to the premiere of A Million Ways To Die In The West in L.A. last night and she let us know that out of a million ways for her vagina to die, she’s choosing death by Sean Penn’s microwaved salchicha peen.

Sean Penn’s dick is probably one of the reasons why Charlize stays with his ass. She’s got a serious case of stage 10 dickmatization and any medical professional will tell you that if you’re riding Sean Penn’s peen and you willingly go out in public with him and smile while doing so, you’ve got stage 10 dickmatization in the worst way. Charlize probably doesn’t even care that Sean Penn makes her put on a Hugo Chavez mask and calls her comrade when he hits it from the front. She’s got it that bad. Get that Alf dick, I guess, Charlize.

Here’s more pictures from last night’s premiere including some of Amanda Seyfried, Sarah Silverman, Michael Sheen and Seth MacFarlane who smiled to keep from crying, because he realized that Charlize considers Sean Penn an upgrade from him.

Pics: Wenn.com