Alec Baldwin Busted In NYC

Alec Baldwin was put into handcuffs in NYC this morning and what’s really shocking is that he wasn’t busted for tearing out the throat of a paparazzo with his teeth after calling him a toxic cocksucking charlatan queen pig. Alec was arrested for the most boring and dumbest thing ever. He was arrested for riding his bike on the wrong side of the street and not having an ID. The Baldwin family refused to comment on this, because they are too busy hanging their heads in shame. A true Baldwin only gets busted for real hood rat stuff like DUIs and pap beating.

InTouch Weekly says that two cops pulled over his bike after he rode on the wrong side of the street. When they asked him for an ID, he said he didn’t have it on him. One source said that Alec was “calm and quiet,” but that source’s first name is obviously “Alec’s” and their last name is “Publicist,” because that throbbing ass vein isn’t even calm and quiet when he sleeps. He snore yells and punches at the air. But another source said that Alec “went ballistic on the cops, screaming at them.” Now THAT’S the Alec we know. The cops should’ve known it was Alec Baldwin when they asked for his ID and he screamed, “DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I FUCKING AM YOU GOAT-FOOTED DUMB FUCK DYKE SHIT BRAINED COPS. I WISH I HAD AN ID TO SHOVE UP YOUR ASS!”

TMZ says that Alec was taken to the police station to be properly identified. HA! He was given a ticket for riding the wrong way and for disorderly conduct. Obviously, Hilaria Baldwin wasn’t with him at the time, because if she was she would’ve asked the cops to take a picture of her doing a yoga pose on top of their car for her Instagram account.

Getting a ticket for riding on the wrong side of the street in NYC is dumb and a waste, but if you have the chance to fuck with Alec Baldwin and make the douche water spew out of his ears while he throws a tantrum, you should take it. Besides, Alec deserved to be arrested for wearing that “memaw at a Sunday morning yard sale” visor.