As Pure As A Baby Ladybug Sitting On A Freshly Bloomed Daisy Petal

May 8, 2014 / Posted by:

Allison and I were so wrapped up in highly important news stories like the black bear vs. two bulldogs and Snooki letting us know if the growing guidoling in her womb has a vagina or a peen that we forgot to post these beautiful pictures of Lindsay Lohan looking as fresh and stunning as a 50-something Reno, NV hooker who trolls casinos on Saturday mornings looking for elderly man whose wallets she can steal while giving them a handy in the front seat of their Cutlass Supremes. What I’m saying is that she’s never looked more glamorous.

LiLo was at some fundraiser (Side question: Do you need funds to go to a fundraiser?) in London last night. LiLo’s been in the UK for a while, because as some of us know, when you’ve gone through all the dick and pissed off all the dealers in one city, it’s time to pack up your asshole and move to another city. So she’s in London. You’re probably screaming for someone to please stick some Prozac in her nip slits and play her tits that “Happy” song since they look sad, depressed and on the verge of suicide. But it’s LiLo, she’s allergic to two things: bras and reason. What I don’t understand is, doesn’t LiLo know how much stuff a bra can hold? A bra can hold a ton of 8-balls and a lot of stolen rings and shit. Not wearing a bra just seems like a bad business decision.

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