Night Crumbs

May 7, 2014 / Posted by:

The look of genuine long-lasting love IS Johnny Depp and Amber Heard at the Don Rickles Tribute looking like a transient crazy man who kidnapped a young girl and brainwashed her into thinking they’re husband and wife. I don’t know what’s making my skin crawl off of my body more: Amber’s dead eyes or the way he’s clutching onto her like she’s the youth he won’t let go of. Or maybe my skin is crawling from those four Hot Pockets I had for lunch – Lainey Gossip

If George Clooney makes a baby, then all you bacon lovers better grab a bow and arrow, because you’re going to have to shoot down some flying pigs to get your delicousness – Celebitchy

The Lesbeaver’s got a new diaper-changing au pair – The Superficial

Miley Cyrus is back to suffocating and torturing her cooter on tour – Drunken Stepfather

“I apologize to the gays whose souls will rot in hell, now will you please buy my shitty album and let me perform at your clubs for a check?” – Porsha WilliamsTowleroad

File under: You know you’re a new breed of trash when MTV thinks you’re setting a bad example – Reality Tea

Micaela Shaefer and a demure friend teach the children (see: little girl in the background) what grace, beauty and elegance is – Hollywood Tuna

RIP Enlisted and Surviving JackPajiba

What it would look like if dude’s played lady roles in movies (SPOILER ALERT: Twatlight would still be a mess) – Buzzfeed

MiserAlba doesn’t want her abuelita seeing her tits – IDLYITW

A Springer Breakers sequel is happening – Jezebel

If you see a hairless baby grizzly bear running around with its organs dragging everywhere, just look for Adriana Lima. She’s wearing its fur – Popoholic

Either Stanley Tucci doesn’t like to show his teefs or he keeps on forgetting to put in his dentures – The Berry

Good luck trying to sleep tonight after having visions of Courtney Love torturing your brain images with this music video she queefed out – OMG Blog

Kristin Calamari had another baby she won’t vaccinate – ICYDK

In not-so-grrrrrrrrreat news, Tony the Tiger is mute now –HuffPo

Jake Gyllenhaal’s still got the same dusty, old beard – Just Jared

Ryan Gosling’s back – Popsugar

Pic: Getty

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