I hope foraged berries and squirrel saliva can properly kill hoof parasites or else the poor soul behind Shailene Woodley during pre-dawn forest meditation/yoga class is not going to appreciate having her hookworm sores shoved into their face while they’re both doing the Warrior III pose.
Seen above walking barefoot on the dirty, nasty sidewalks of NYC after the Met Gala, the moonchild Jennifer Lawrence and noted non-feminist is still out there mouth shitting all sorts of foolery. In that Fault in Our Stars movie, Ansel Elgort plays Shailene’s piece and in that Divergent movie he plays her brother. The Hollywood Reporter says that during a Q&A after a screening of Fault in Our Stars, the Diva Cup-wearing, bark-chewing soul child of the sun joked that it wasn’t that hard kissing a dude who’s played her brother before, because she’s thought about what it would be like to Angelina Jolie her own brother.
“It wasn’t that weird because I’ve always sort of wondered what it’d be like kissing my brother,” she joked at first — to which Nat Wolff said, “That’s the best answer ever!”
Sure, sure, we can say that Shailene was joking, but this bitch has said a lot of jacked-up shit she wasn’t joking about. Shailene has said that she’s not a feminist, because she loves men and that letting the sun’s rays finger fuck your cooch is only a good thing. She wasn’t joking when she said any of that. Bitch is crazy. So Shailene’s brother is probably going to protect his mouth by smearing processed sugar and preservatives all over his lips whenever he sees her, because he’s not about to be one-half of the Godspell version of St. Angie and James Haven.
Shailene was also on Letterman last night where she once again talked about how much she loves eating clay. If she could, she’d eat clay all the time. She’d always have clay on her tongue. She can’t get enough of clay. Surprisingly, Clay isn’t her brother’s name.