Avril Lavigne’s “Hello Kitty” Video Isn’t Racist Because She Has Like Japanese Fans Or Whatever LOLOLOL

If you went to the mall yesterday and did everything you could to avoid the Sanrio store, because you knew that even a hint of Hello Kitty would make your eardrums jump out of your ear holes and cause you to have a panic attack that no amount of Xanax could cure, then you probably tortured yourself by watching Avri Lavigne’s cupcake turd of a video for “Hello Kitty.” Any living thing with a sense of hearing and sight considered it an act of terrorism against humanity and some labeled it as racist. When Gwen Stefani was using Harajuku Girls as mute props, Margaret Cho called it a “minstrel show.” Many on Twitter said pretty much the same thing about Avril’s video and Billboard had a few words to say about that mess:

Hello Kitty” is the weakest song on Avril Lavigne’s fifth studio album, a grating earworm that squeezes Gwen Stefani’s Japan fetishization into an even more unseemly package. But in a lot of ways, its music video, which wormed its way onto YouTube on Tuesday (Apr. 22) and then was quickly taken down, is even a bigger train-wreck than the track itself. Click here to watch the gloriously ghastly video on Lavigne’s web site.

The majority of the “Hello Kitty” music video finds the Canadian pop princess parading around with four identical, creepily expressionless Asian women behind her, performing mind-numbingly generic dance moves, in locales like a bedroom, a candy store and a street. When she’s not commanding her vaguely offensive troop, Lavigne is clumsily playing guitar, wearing glasses, eating sushi, waving at admirers, taking a single photograph, and… not much else, really.

Avril went on Twitter and totally shut up the haters with an intelligent and thought-provoking rebuttal. If Avril was on a 7th grade debate team and the argument was, “Is Avril Lavigne’s new video racist?“, she’d totally win for her team and win over the judges with an LOLOLOLOL.

RACIST??? LOLOLOL!!! I love Japanese culture and I spend half of my time in Japan. I flew to Tokyo to shoot this video…

— Avril Lavigne (@AvrilLavigne) April 24, 2014

…specifically for my Japanese fans, WITH my Japanese label, Japanese choreographers AND a Japanese director IN Japan.

— Avril Lavigne (@AvrilLavigne) April 24, 2014

I mean, Avril typed “Japanese” like a million times, so she’s totally not racist and stuff.

Some are saying that Avril’s video IS racist, others are saying that it’s just stupid (um, don’t the two go hand-in-hand?), but let’s not argue about that. Let’s just agree that the video is offensive to EVERYBODY and Avril needs to pay for her crimes by spending the rest of her life in a windowless, doorless cell far, far away from humanity. Too harsh? Okay, Chad Kroeger can be her cellmate. They can keep each other company.