Open Post: Hosted By The Uncut Peen Hat That Ellen Gave To Pharrell

April 10, 2014 / Posted by:

On her show today, Ellen DeGeneres gave smooth rodent Pharrell Williams a super-sized version of the dehydrated date hat he keeps trying to make happen and while doing so she gave me the gift of seeing him with a true-to-size replica of Big Sean’s dick on his lap. Some whores might see a giant cigar (Monica Lewinsky’s snatch just passed out), but those whores are wrong, because that’s a big uncut dick hat right there. At around the 4:26 mark in the clip below, Ellen brings out John Travolta’s favorite hat and she giggles like she didn’t know what the hell she was trying to pull.

I would say that yes, I’d hit it until I started farting out felt, but sadly that peen hat is no more. During the commercial break, Ellen and Pharrell heard a crashing sound coming from the studio’s ceiling and when they looked up they saw a naked Khloe Kardashian falling Sascrotch-first right onto that hat. It will never be seen again. RIP Big Dick Hat.

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