Night Crumbs

April 7, 2014 / Posted by:

“Hey, I’ve gotta do some quick business, so check your email on this tangerine,” said Leonardo DiCatchAHo to his girlfriend Toni Garrn before checking his phone to see if Victoria’s Secret got any new Angels in – Lainey Gossip

Some 20-something slut who still lives with his mom claims that his peen has touched 200 chicks he met on Twitter this past year. My question is, would you hit it and I don’t mean punch him in his constipated selfie face. – Jezebel

I think it’s safe to say that Chris Martin cheated on Goopy Paltrow with any trick who didn’t make him use lube made from a beluga whale’s saliva and let him eat a Kraft slice out of her snatch – The Superficial

Jennifer Lawrence poses with a bunch of fellow bridesmaids who either have to piss really badly or are trying to hold their Diva Cups in – Entertainment Weekly

YES! SFW porn makes its triumphant return – Drunken Stepfather

Okay, okay, we get it, Cameron Diaz, you’re the authority on crotch fur – Celebitchy

Amy Childs looks like she’s about to film a scene as the Amy Adams character in a porn version of American HustleHollywood Tuna

Dear Popeye’s, please do the right thing and make a knock-off of KFC’s Chik-Fil-A knock-off called Mega Chiks – Gawker

So Mama Joyce didn’t take her shoe off and hit Todd Tucker in the face with it after he married Kandi Burruss. Kandi must’ve promised to raise Mama Joyce’s monthly allowance if she didn’t act the fool at her wedding – Reality Tea

Stefon from SNL is real – Towleroad

Just because Selena Gomez is a celebrity who has access to the 90s section of the Contempo Casuals archive closet doesn’t mean she should wear everything in it – Popoholic

Some bored dude found 12 ways to make himself look as stupid as possible and I still would – The Berry

Chris Pine giving us “douchey poetry professor at a community college who everyone thinks is gay but later gets caught jacking off while peeking through a hole in the girls bathroom” ICYDK

A merman yodels out “A Part Of Your World” from The Little Mermaid and I’m mad at the seagulls for not yanking that Halloween Town RiRi wig off of his head – OMG Blog

John Pinette is now in the afterworld’s waiting room having the most awkward conversation with Mickey Rooney and Peaches Geldof HuffPo

Babawawa is officially out of The View on May 16th and where do I sign the petition to get her to take Jenny McCarthy with her? – Jenny McCarthy

FYI: St. Angie Jolie and Brad Pitt probably boned this weekend – Popsugar

Amanda Bynes’ bikini ass is back on Twitter – IDLYITW

Pic: Splash

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