Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

April 1, 2014 / Posted by:

This A list male designer thinks things are different this time around and that his latest barely out of teens male model really loves the designer and not the $25K a month allowance that the designer is paying him each month. Plus the apartment rent. (CDAN)

Calvin Klein?

So if you’re a barely legal twink who’s thinking of going to nursing school, because one day you want to get a job at a retirement home where you’ll wipe up diarrhea crust off of old, wrinkly asses and spoon feed mushed rutabaga into the mouths of pepaws, hold off! While you still have the face of a virgin fetus, move to NYC and bat your eyes at Calvin Klein so he’ll hire you as his kept bitch. You’ll still feel professionally fulfilled since you’ll spend most of your days wiping diarrhea crust off of an old, wrinkly ass and spoon feeding mushed rutabaga into CK’s plastic mouth, but, bitch, you’ll be making $25k a month!

They were both still married when they started secretly seeing each other in 2013.

Since then, they have each separated from their spouses. Those breakups were widely reported in the press.

The spotlight on their personal lives apparently isn’t stopping them from moving forward with their own relationship! In fact, we have two stunning developments to report.

The first: They are moving in together! Yes, already. His house.

Why the rush? That’s the second stunning development: She is three and a half months pregnant with his baby!

Wait until her husband finds out!

BONUS CLUE! The song “Summertime” contains two clues about the expectant parents. (Blind Gossip)

I was going to guess Chris Martin and Miranda Kerr, but this blind item was posted on March 31st and not April 1st. Besides, the clue from the song “Summertime” is probably the lyric “You’re daddy’s rich and your mama’s good-looking.” If the lyric was, “You’re dad’s a cunt and your mama’s good-looking,” then I’d guess this was about Chris Martin and Miranda Kerr. So I’ll guess Miranda Kerr and that Australian billionaire she’s supposedly rubbing her kewpie doll parts on.

This foreign born former A list mostly movie actress who still has A+list name recognition had another meltdown when her A list mostly movie actor husband met up with his girlfriend who is about 40 years younger than him. The actor thought that he had an understanding with his wife about it. Apparently not. (CDAN)

CJZ? And I hope after her meltdown over Michael Douglas’ supposed side trick, she sat on the bed and expressed her feelings by busting out her “malfunctioning animatronic figure” performance of Send in the Clowns.

There’s more than meets the eye to this actor’s sudden and unexpected sobriety. He never had a reputation as a partier, and when he recently announced he’d given up drinking, questions arose. Why did he quit? The inside story is that our seemingly straight leading man was in the habit of getting liquored up and cruising Craigslist for twinky young guys. One of these playful hustlers caused a loud incident in which police were almost called. He paid the kid to keep quiet and that close call is the reason he stopped drinking. (Janet Charlton)

B. Coop. Exhibit: A?

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