Open Post: Hosted By Tom Cruise’s Bangs

March 31, 2014 / Posted by:

Tommy Girl was honored as Legend Of Our Lifetime (they spelled “Legend In His Own Mind” wrong) at the Empire Film Awards in London last night, and he showed up with a luscious wave of boy bangs covering up his forehead. I’m going to guess that Tommy got banged, because of a Botox-gone-wrong situation or he got a bruise from getting dick slapped in the forehead. (Any Scientologist will tell you that one of the quickest ways to remove body thetans is to beat them with a hard dick.) Whatever the case may be, you know this is making John Travolta seethe and the glue holding his lace front just melted off. Tommy shamelessly flaunting his naturally grown bangs is like a slap to John Travolta’s wig. It’s on and the boys in the Scientology bath house better choose sides now.

Pics: Splash,

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