Zac Efron’s “Bodyguard” Thinks He’s A True Hero And Tells A Totally, Messy Bullshit Story

March 27, 2014 / Posted by:

The “bodyguard” who was with Zac Efron on Sunday night when he got fisted in the mouth tells TMZ his side of the story and even Lindsay Lohan while cracked out of her freckled skull could come with a better fairy tale than this shit. The “bodyguard,” who didn’t want to spill his name out, has a criminal record for violence and drugs, so he’s a “bodyguard” as much as John Travolta goes to a massage therapist for an actual massage.

At first, the “bodyguard” told ¬†TMZ¬†that he and Zac were cruising around Downtown L.A. at 12:30 on Sunday, but later on in the conversation he says that they were going to a restaurant in Little Tokyo. Their car ran out of gas and rolled to a stop at the bottom of an off-ramp. Earlier, TMZ said that the 3 homeless dudes came at the bodyguard when Zac threw a glass bottle out the window and it broke near them. But the bodyguard says it didn’t go down like that. For whatever reason the 3 homeless dudes attacked him with a spear-like shank. They shanked him in the face, stomach and chest. Zac jumped out of the car with a vodka bottle in his hand and swung it at the homeless dudes hoping they’d stop stabbing his “bodyguard.” That’s when the cops arrived. So the “bodyguard” says that Zac is a real hero for saving his life.

The HELL is that story? A spear-like shank? When their gas-less car rolled to a stop, did it pass through a portal taking them to post-apocalyptic Los Angeles? Because whoever came up with that story watched Escape From L.A. too many times. Everything about that story is shady from the homeless dudes attacking the “bodyguard” with a shank for no reason to the delicate unicorn carved out of a giant Bronzer stick that is Zac Efron jumping out of the car with a vodka bottle. Whatever happened to the days when you were in a drug deal gone wrong and you could simply say, “Oh, you know, I was in a drug deal gone wrong.” If I’m ever in a drug deal gone wrong and need to lie about it, remind me to not tell the story Zac’s trying to push.

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