QOTD: Tom Daley Gets Sex Offers All The Time

March 23, 2014 / Posted by:

In “the true definition of a humblebrag” news, ripped water twink Tom Daley tells James Corden during an interview for The Sun (via DS) that ever since he let it be known that he loves dick on his tongue, hos have been throwing their peens at him left and right. If life was Grindr, Tom Daley’s screen would be covered in nothing but red dots. Everybody wants that waxed otter ass. When Tom walks outside of his house, dicks fall from the sky and there’s an open field of peens in front of him for him to throw that boy pussy on.

“Yeah, it does happen quite often. You do get some people who just come up to you and offer it there and then. Like literally. Some people come up to me and say, ‘Do you want to go back?’ And I’m like, ‘What do you mean? The whole reason I did this was because I have a boyfriend’.”

This twink… Tom Daley has been to the Olympics, has the looks of a Bel Ami power bottom, has more hard abs than he knows what to do with, is dating the dude who wrote Leche and now we know that he can pull in dick without even trying. I, for one, am not jealous at all, because I get hit on all the time and by “all the time” I mean never and by “hit on” I mean some 60-something bald dude who was built like Lena Dunham and was wearing cargo capris approached me in the refrigerator section of a Gelson’s supermarket and asked me if I was from around there. Just when I started to think that an actual human with semi-working genitals was hitting one me, he goes, “Oh, because this store doesn’t have my usual brand of soy milk and I’m wondering if there’s a Trader Joe’s nearby.” Leave it to a soy milk-drinking pepaw in cargo capris to crush my spirit.

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