This Is Really Happening: Here’s Zoe Saldana In NBC’s Rosemary’s Baby Mini-Series

March 13, 2014 / Posted by:

Entertainment Weekly (via CS) published the first pictures of Zoe Saldana and Patrick J. Adams in the four-hour mini-series that a bunch of head bitches at NBC thought would be a good idea to make after they did the molly a janitor found in Al Roker’s dressing room. This Rosemary’s Baby goes down in Paris, but everything else is the same as far as we know. You know, dramatic ass Rosemary moves into a new apartment with her fame whore husband. Bitch gets knocked up, strange shit starts to happen, her friend dies, she finds out that her nosy neighbors are members of a Satanic cult and she thinks they want to sacrifice her baby. She births out the demon child and finds out he’s the antichrist. If you replaced the name “Rosemary” with “Patti” and replaced “Paris” with “a town in Canada,” you’d basically have the events leading up to Justin Bieber’s life.

Yes, I’m glad that JLo’s “Enough” wig is getting work again, but it doesn’t look like Zoe Saldana is really committing. A real thespian who is devoted to their craft would’ve cut their hair for real! They wouldn’t have worn one of John Travolta’s old ones and called it good. If Daniel Day-Lewis played Rosemary, he would’ve taken two years off before filming to lose half his body weight, get gender reassignment surgery and find a way to get knocked up by the seed of Satan so he could spend 9 months shuffling back and forth in a dark apartment while wearing a flimsy nightgown. That’s commitment!

With all that being said, I’d hit it. Well, look at her crotch in those sweats. She’s obviously hung like her last name’s Hamm.


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