They’re also wreaking havoc on armpits and waists, but they’re not the true victims in this story (so feel free to grab a cup of lukewarm coffee and take a seat in the lounge, you two). The reason you should all be shrieking in high-pitched Maude Flanders outrage today is the careless Photoshop goblin who’s been hacking away at the bikini-clad vaginas that appear on Target’s website. Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the vulvas!?!?
According to The Ethical Adman (via Jezebel) the Xhilaration® Junior’s Midkini 2-Piece Swimsuit -Leopard Print was featured on Target’s website and looked harmless enough, until you zoomed in and realized that the sides of the bikini bottom were creeping down the model’s legs like a pair of Halloween vampire fangs. Obviously, someone at Target gave the co-op student the go ahead to use whatever bobo Photoshop skills they learned in their Communication Tech class and carve out thigh gaps on the Juniors swimsuit models. And if the Target office is anything like the office I used to work in, there’s definitely a creepy dude who asked “Can I have those pussy scraps when you’re done with them?”
Target has since released a statement to BuzzFeed apologizing for the Frankenpussy that said:
“This was an unfortunate error on our part and we apologize. We have removed the image from our website.”
To which I say…as if, Target. Nobody in a corporation that large is allowed to sneeze without filing a TPS report about it first, so there’s no way I believe this was just an oopsie-doodle on the part of an intern. Someone definitely requested that the vaginas go from Hearty Taco to Malnourished Taquito, hoping that no one would notice the sloppy cut+paste job. Except that there’s no way not to notice there’s a giant chunk missing when you’re getting phantom pussy pains and checking to make sure your own labia lips are still attached.
And don’t feel bad for the mountain of shit that that pubis-hating hater is getting shovelled on them today, because Kim Kardashian has already sent a dozen muffin baskets over to the Target offices with a note saying: “To the Photoshop wizard who did a beautiful job on those bikini pics – there’s always a job for you at the Kardashian Kompound. Let’s talk, XO Kim.”