Cameron Diaz Must Really, Really Want Her First Razzie

March 5, 2014 / Posted by:

The trailer for the remake Annie starring Quvenzhané Wallis, Jamie Foxx, Cameron Diaz and Rose Byrne is here and I’m still trying to figure out what in hard knock hell is Cameron Diaz doing. But more on her messiness in a second…

This trailer makes the movie look like it’s 100% pure made-for-basic-cable cheese. Watching this trailer made me feel like I was trapped in a room with a bunch of kids, and as some Disney Channel show blared on a TV in the corner they all threw buckets and buckets of fondue at me.

And back to Cameron Diaz’s ass… If Will Smith and the other producers wanted a Miss Hannigan who is not like Miss Hannigan at all, they nailed it. I laughed at Cameron, but only because her Miss Hannigan reminded me of my drunk Salvadorian tia doing an impersonation of Wanda from In Living Color after her 8th “margarita” I put margarita in quotes, because her idea of a margarita is a cup of tequila with a splash of lime.

What I’m trying to say is that this movie is probably going to make billions and billions of dollars and after I drunkenly hate watch it at 3 in the morning I’ll probably declare that Cameron Diaz gave the camp performance of a lifetime.

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