Daphne Oz Gave Her Baby A Food Name And, No, It’s Not Something Cool Like Cheeto or Twizzler

March 4, 2014 / Posted by:

And if you’re asking yourself “Who?”, let me be the first to┬ácongratulate you on having a job. But for those of you who are unemployed and still asking “Who?” then I need to know what you’re doing with your day. Doesn’t everybody bookend Maury with The View and The Chew? I know; never has a sentence so accurately described the feeling of giving up into a pair of sweatpants.

Us Weekly says that Daphne Oz, host of The Chew and daughter of poo-obsessed Diet Coke hater Dr. Oz, appeared on The Chew via Skype today to announce the name of the baby girl she gave birth to a little less than a week ago. The baby’s full name is Philomena Bijou Jovanovic, but Daphne and her husband have already started calling her “Philo” and “PBJ”.

I can’t get behind Philo because that flaky phyllo shit is too fancy for my trashy tastes; I’m more of an exploding can of nearly-expired Pillsbury crescent dough kind of girl myself. But as someone who considers dessert 6 out of 7 nights a week to be a jar of Kraft and a long-handled spoon, I happily give them two greasy thumbs up for PBJ. Again, I just described the feeling of sweatpants.

And tune in to Dr. Oz next week when that snack-hating hater tells you the 6 hidden cancer-causing ingredients found in peanut butter.

(Pic: Instagram)

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