Great News For Divorce Lawyers: Jackie And Kelso Are Getting Married!

February 27, 2014 / Posted by:

If you’re a high-powered divorce lawyer in the L.A. area, go ahead and call up your architect and let them know to draw up the plans for your 4th vacation house in Hawaii, because a pile of money is going to fall on your desk in about 2 years. 3 years tops!

E! News has a picture of Mila Kunis wearing a diamond ring, so either she’s engaged or she was role playing as a married woman during kinky sex games with Ashton Kutcher and forgot to take off that prop ring. It’s probably the first one, because a source also says that they are engaged. ┬áMila and Ashton started doing each other in real life in April 2012 and his divorce to Demi Moore became official official last year.

My bitter headline and first few sentences aside, I really didn’t think they’d last this long. When I first read that Ashton and Mila were boning full-time, I figured that they’d stop boning two days later when Mila started getting treatment for the brain damage she was suffering from. But they proved my ass wrong! I’m sure they’ll get married, have tons of kids and stay together forever. Or they’ll stay together until Mila walks in on Ashton drowning in a pool of sorority girl poon. Whichever comes first.

Meanwhile, Demi Moore just wiped her sad tears on the hard dick of her 13th boy toy of the year.

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