Adam From Girls Is Probably Going To Be The Villain In Star Wars: Episode VII

Variety says that Adam Driver, known to you and me as the dude who dropped his peen leche on Shiri Appleby and bones Lena Dunham on almost every episode of Girls, is thisclose to beating out Michael Fassbender and Hugo Weaving for the villain role in Star Wars: Episode VII. No word yet on if Hannah is in talks to play Watto and Shosh is in talks to play Jar Jar Binks.

Variety says that Adam is J.J. Abrams, Disney and LucasFilms’ #1 choice to play the villain who is described as a Darth Vadar-like character. They’re trying to work out scheduling shit with Adam, but he’s expected to officially sign on in the next few days. Shooting begins this April in London and it comes out December 18, 2015.

Disney didn’t have anything to say about this.

Jesse Plemons, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Florence Welch, Ryan Gosling, Zac Efron, Michael B. Jordan, Leonardo DiCaprio, Ewan McGregor, Alex Pettyfer, David Oyelowo, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Gary Oldman, Benedict Cumberbatch, Saoirse Ronan, your cousin, my cousin, the back-up weed man you use when your regular weed man’s busy, your weekday night hook-up and everybody else in the world has been mentioned as being “in talks” for a role in Star Wars. So I guess this is some grain of salt shit.

But you know, it concerns me that I don’t hate the idea of Adam from Girls as the main bad bitch in Star Wars. It’s about time we have a socially awkward Sith lord (but aren’t all Sith lords socially awkward?) who looks like a fun house mirror Adrien Brody, cums on all the chests of the Ewoks, mocks all of his girlfriends and kills his enemies by pissing on them in the shower.

Pic: Terry’s Diary