Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 20, 2014 / Posted by:

KISSING KOOLERS!!!! 

I could just put KISSING KOOLERS in bold and CAPS-LOCK and leave it at that, because those words bring out the raw emotions and memories of pure happiness out of some girls of the 80s. I was having drinks with a friend once and after I told her my strawberries ‘n cream martini (the jokes write themselves, I know) tasted like Kissing Koolers, her entire face changed into the real definition of joy. It was like a litter of puppies carrying $1 million checks in their mouths slid down a rainbow in front of her. If I pulled out a Kissing Koolers and handed it to her, I’d most likely be in prison for attempted murder, because she would almost die.

Maybelline’s Kissing Koolers were little marbleized lip glosses that came in a bunch of flavors (strawberry fizz, banana split, cherry cola, watermelon, etc…) and they could also double as mini travel-sized dildos (look at them). Maybelline stopped making them sometime in the early 90s, but they live on in the hearts and souls of many 80s hos. They also live on at the bottom of my stomach, because they smelled like dessert and I might’ve eaten the tip off of a few of them. I doubt that delicious mess digested.

Pic: Tumblr

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