An Adorably Charming Patrick Stewart Corrects The Guardian After They Incorrectly Out Him As Gay

February 19, 2014 / Posted by:

Yes, I picked this picture of Sir Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian McKellen on purpose, and not because Sir Pat stuffing a wiener in his mouth while wearing a muscle shirt is 3 shades south of gay (if hot dogs in your mouth-hole is gay, then consider me Liberace snuggling a pomeranian on a pile of Rojo Caliente’s best flannel shirts). It’s adorable picture of two pals wearing matching hats and eating snacks at Coney Island and it makes me feel warm and snuggly inside. We should all be so lucky to have a best pal to wear matching clothes and eat snacks with.

The next time Tommy Girl decides to sue the pants off someone for calling him gay, he should stop for a second and remember how Sir Pat would handle the situation, because it will make him about a 1000 times more likeable. After Ellen Page’s public confirmation that she’s a teeny-tiny gayelle, The Guardian wrote a story about the endless praise and congratulations she received on Twitter, including a very nice tweet from Professor Xavier himself. However, I guess they forgot about his recent wedding to a lady because they wrote:

“Some gay people, such as Sir Patrick Stewart, think Page’s coming out speech is newsworthy because a high-profile and surprisingly politically aware young actress has decided not to play by the rules that so many closeted Hollywood actors are advised to follow if they are to enjoy mainstream success.”

Even though his best friend forever is an out-and-proud gay, Sir Pat is not. But instead of putting The Guardian on blast on Twitter or gift wrapping a defamation lawsuit, he politely reminded everyone that he wouldn’t be making the internet’s dreams come true by divorcing his wife and marrying Gandalf any time soon:

The Guardian has since changed it from “Some gay people” to “Some people”, but it’s too late! The damage has already been done. You can’t casually refer to Sir Pat as gay and not expect the minds of every internet dork to be blown into a million pieces when they picture Professor Xavier asking Magneto for his hand in marriage. I hope The Guardian has a good lawyer, because they’re about to find themselves the subject of a class-action lawsuit (The Guardian vs. The People’s Extreme Happiness).

(Pic: Patrick Stewart)

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