Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Make Out Practice Pillow, the perfect pillow for the Forever Aloners who are sick of their cats scratching their face skin off and running away every time they try to give them a VD kiss.
Cats everywhere are purring out sighs of relief, because tonight their nostrils won’t get attacked with a sad cloud that reeks of Russell Stover cherry cordials, that Sofia Coppola canned sparkling wine and potent woe when the Forever Aloner in their life tries to kiss them on the cat lips after binge watching Nicholas Sparks movies while social media stalking all their exes (switch out the cat for a snoring chihuahua and Nicholas Sparks movies for a Shannon Tweed marathon and I think I just explained my entire night). Cats are off the hook now that the Make Out Practice Pillow is here!
Florida designer Emily Grace King writes on her site that she got the idea for the Make Out Practice Pillow when she remembered practicing kissing stuff on her pillow in junior high school. Emily writes that everybody did that in junior high. Um, type for yourself Emily. Some of us sluts were more advanced in junior high school and went straight to humping our pillows in the bathroom because it was the only room in the house with a door that locked. Anyway, so Emily decided to make a Make Out pillow for grownups using mouths from CPR dummies. The final product is like something you’d find in The Jennifer Aniston Collection for Bed, Bath and Beyond Help. It’s like a Real Doll for the Etsy set.
Emily knows they’re creepy and knows they look like something a young Buffalo Bill would make in home ec class, but she’s okay with that.
I have to admit that when I mentioned this idea to my friends, the reaction from anyone over the age of 25 tended to be variations on “that’s really creepy,” and anyone under the age of 25 thought it was hilarious and awesome (middle-school to college-age seemed to be the sweet spot of people who really liked the idea). I thought it was pretty hilarious myself until I actually made the things. They are super creepy. But I sort of love them for that
The Make Out Practice Pillow is actually perfectly designed. There’s no eyes to judge you while you make out with a goddamn nightmare pillow with lips. And whenever you’re done doing whatever it is you need to do with that pillow (and we know what hos are really going to do to that pillow) you can wipe your saliva, lonely tears or other body fluids on the fabric. It’s a Real Doll and cum rag in one! And if you get stoned enough, it’ll probably slip you the tongue back.
Happy Valentimes, everyone!
via Metro