Johnny Depp Confirms What We’ve Know Forever By Kissing Amber Heard In Public

February 13, 2014 / Posted by:

I never really took Johnny Depp for a stunt queen type (he always struck me as the kind that liked to kick it at home with a bong and a salad bowl filled with Lucky Charms while he shops for expensive guitars on eBay) but it looks like Amber Heard is really bringing out the attention-seeking child in him.¬†After refusing to comment about the millions of times they’ve been spotted together holding hands or covering up THAT FINGER for the paps, Amber brought Johnny and a giant diamond on THAT FINGER to the Hollywood premiere of her film 3 Days to Kill.

After they finished posing like two scabs you find on your dog’s butt after he takes up scooching his ass across the carpet as a hobby, Johnny leaned in and gave Amber a kiss on the cheek. At least I believe they want us to believe it’s a kiss; it looks more like Johnny is asking Amber: “Can you sniff me for a second? I got a whiff of something that smelled like a hobo pirate took a Long Island Ice Tea dump in a toilet bowl filled with embalming fluid, and I was scared it was me. It is me? Well, mystery solved then.”

And because I know you were like “Who cares about the back? Show me the front!”, here’s Johnny and Amber looking like the last two nasty Barbie dolls in the box at a yard sale (“I don’t care that they’re only $0.50, you’re not bringing those gross things into the house” – your mother):

(Pics: Flame Flynet, Wenn)

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