I Just Got Second-Hand Stoned From The Name Of Soleil Moon Frye’s Son

February 12, 2014 / Posted by:

After the 56th variation of “Jayden” popped up on my Facebook news feed (please accept my condolences on the death of your parent’s better judgement, baby Zayden) it’s refreshing to hear about a parent breaking from the crowd and naming their baby something that sounds like a type of weed you’d buy from a guy wearing a threadbare Coexist t-shirt at a Phish concert. On Monday, Punky Brewster reminded you that you are old and death is coming for your ass when she birthed out her 3rd child, and today Soleil Moon Frye finally announced the baby’s name on her website Moonfrye (via People):

Welcome to the world Lyric Sonny Roads Goldberg! Can’t wait to share our pics and moments in the upcoming months. Thanks for all the love and support.

Lyric Sonny Roads joins two older sisters (who will probably grow up to be cosmic faeries or crystal deodorant enthusiasts) Jagger Joseph Blue and Poet Sienna Rose. It’s a good thing that name sounds not-the-worst when you say it all together, because the minute you break them off and put them into separate holding cells, they begin turning on each other:

“Lyric is how someone at Starbucks fucks up the name Eric!” – Roads

“Sonny sounds like a not-right nickname your creepy uncle gives you!” – Lyric

“Roads is the name of a guy who sells you bath salts in Orlando!” – Sonny

And I look forward to 15 years in the future when Lyric Sonny Roads starts pissing off his parents by rebelliously trying to legally change his name to Brad.

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