But where are his tiny marble T-Rex arms? How can he play tiny marble bongos on a little marble beach without his tiny T-Rex arms? And why is it so white? Matthew McConaughey never lets his beautiful, leathery skin get half a shade lighter than Pantone 173-C (I believe it’s called Faded Football).
Good news today for those of you obsessed with seeing dudes shake their junk in oversized sweatpants (shamefully raises hand); Channing Tatum uploaded this picture of himself in a dumb hat staring at the dead eyes of David Wooderson to Instagram with the caption:
“What better way to start writing #MagicMike2 than with my old friend Dallas? #runatribe”
Well, I can think of a better way. If you’re writing a script about male strippers, you should be eyeball-deep in dongs; the only penis-like thing I can see in that room is whatever it is that’s sticking out of your hat, and that’s not good enough. I don’t want to watch a movie about wispy feather-peens. And maybe switch out that boring statue of the Texas T-Rex for a dancing Santa in a g-string. I’m not trying to be bossy; I just to make sure that Channing Tatum is going to follow through on the promise he made to The Hollywood Reporter back in June that Magic Mike 2 is going to burn Magic Mike 1 down and grind all over the ashes:
“It will be a road-trip movie, and it will essentially be the movie that everyone thought the first one was going to be: crazy and fun and less slice-of-life and less drama. The first one, we had to make not so cheesy and campy; this one we are going to swing for the fences.”
That’s too many words! He should have just saved himself some time and held up a picture of Joe Manganiello. “More of this. Lots more of this. 2 hours of this humping on stuff to 2 Chainz“.
(Pic: Channing Tatum)