So Here’s Those Russian Police Officers Singing “Get Lucky” Before The Olympics Opening Ceremony

February 7, 2014 / Posted by:

A few of you dropped this awkward nugget into our inboxes and the first thing Allison said to me after watching it was, “This is the gayest thing I’ve seen today.” ¬†Excuse you, Allison, but this is the straightest thing I’ve seen today. My b-hole didn’t pucker once and not one vein in my butt tingled while watching the Russian Police Choir perform “Get Lucky” before the Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Sochi today. All I see are a bunch of straight dudes (and probably some gay dudes trying hard to not “look gay“) awkwardly bounce around to get “Get Lucky” while their souls slowly get into the fetal position before completely dying. They look like they would rather be taking a communal shit in a Sochi bathroom while guzzling down gallons of dangerous Sochi hotel water.

Their cop uniforms aren’t even bedazzled and they aren’t serving up some piping hot moves that’ll make your nipples spit out rainbow-colored glitter. I don’t even think this was choreographed! If this truly was the “gayest thing ever,” those police officers would have to arrest themselves.

This looks like karaoke night at the Scientology men’s lounge. …..And with that sentence, I think I just proved Allison right. Damn her.

Click here to take in all the awkward fuckery of the entire performance and click here to see the original version from November.

Vid via THR

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