Woody Allen’s Lawyer Says That Dylan Farrow Is Mia’s “Pawn”

February 4, 2014 / Posted by:

And there’s your cue to make the same “err, not sure if I want to go into this post” face that Soon-Yi is making.

A day after The New York Times published Dylan Farrow’s open letter to the Hollywood types who still support the adoptive father who abused her, Woody Allen’s publicist and lawyer shat out statements saying that he was investigated and never charged with criminal child touching and that Mia Farrow put it all in Dylan’s head. Woody’s lawyer, Elkan Abramowitz, went on Today¬†(via UsWeekly) this morning to defend his client and he once again said that during the custody fight years ago Mia brainwashed Dylan into thinking that Woody touched her wrong when she was a little girl. Elkan and Woody believe that Mia embedded that thought so deep in Dylan’s brain that she still believes he abused her. Mia Farrow is a brainwashing evil genius!

Elkan said this to Savannah Guthrie:

“His reaction is one of overwhelming sadness because of what has happened to Dylan. She was a pawn in a huge fight between him and Mia Farrow years ago and the idea that she was molested was implanted in her by her mother and that memory is never going to go away. So the fact that she says this now, that it happened 20 years ago, is totally understandable. My view is she’s not lying. I think she truly believes this happened. That’s what the vice of this is. When you implant a story in a fragile 7 year-old’s man it stays there and never goes away.”

Savannah said that the judge in the custody hearing believed that there was no evidence of coaching, to which Elkan said:

“The custody judge is not the most important factor here. The charges were brought to the Connecticut State Police. The State Police got the Sex Abuse of Yale New Haven, a nationally recognized group, to investigate these charges. They determined, after six months inquiry, not only that it didn’t happen, but that Dylan was coached by her mother.”

Babawawa’s down-for-boo has no plans to sue Dylan for defamation or slander (DUH).

Mia tweeted her response to the accusation that she brainwashed Dylan:

And finally, New York Magazine put on their yellow rubber gloves and face mask and dug deep into the archives to pull out Woody Allen’s history with young girls. They found this disturbing piece from an interview that Woody Allen did with People Magazine in 1979:

“I’m open-minded about sex. I’m not above reproach; if anything, I’m below reproach. I mean, if I was caught in a love nest with 15 12-year-old girls tomorrow, people would think, yeah, I always knew that about him. Nothing I could come up with would surprise anyone. I admit to it all.”

You know, nasty ass sucio Woody has a point. If any of us caught him in an illegal pedo nest¬†with a bunch of 12-year-old girls, we’d definitely say that we always knew that about him before screaming for all the authorities to come and arrest him. And by “any of us” I don’t mean Barbara Walters, because if she caught him with a bunch of 12-year-old girls she’d just say, “What a loving and caring father.”

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