Open Post: Hosted By A Double Dose Of Major Opulence

February 4, 2014 / Posted by:

The next time a child or somebody else asks you what heaven is like, just show them this gorgeous and perfect picture and you won’t be lying. Colton Burpo will soon be issuing a statement saying that he lied about that rainbow-colored horse and Jesus, and this is what he really saw when he took a day trip to heaven.

Words are worthless when it comes to describing this golden pile of diamond exquisiteness before you. The not-so-secret love child of a black diamond and a chola swan Harald Glööckler made magic at his store in Berlin today when he posed with Gina Lollobrigida. This is what Joan Collins’ doctor would see during a colonoscopy. If it was olden times again, pirates would kill each other to get their hands on this picture. It’s that luxurious. Harald and Gina don’t need a reason to summon photographers to his store to take pictures of their perfection, but the photo agency says that they were celebrating their 20 years of friendship! So if you’re still at work, go ahead and get all your shit and go. If your boss asks you where you’re going just say, “It’s an international holiday! It’s the 20th anniversary of Harald Glööckler and Gina Lollobrigida’s friendship!” That should shut your boss down.


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