It’s Not Officially Groundhog Day Until The Squinting Insanity Dragon Appears In A Bikini

February 3, 2014 / Posted by:

Well, at least now I know what it looks like when LeAnn Rimes eats too many damn goji berries. I sympathize with her; I get the same feeling when I try to eat a salad and my body freaks out over the lack of cheese and Red Vines.

According to The Daily Mail, LeAnn took a much-needed break from that blue foldable soccer chair and went to Hawaii to film more of her never-ending reality show for VH1 with Eddie Cibrian (aka Dean McDermott 2.0). Because I’m in a good mood (the sun came out this morning and it no longer feels like Hoth) I’ll say that LeAnn looks great. Nope, wait a second; ‘great’ might be too powerful a word; you’ll have to forgive me, I’m just so used to hearing the words ‘LeAnn Rimes in a bikini’ and picturing this. I should have said: She no longer looks like something Dana Scully found in an abandoned warehouse on The X-Files. That’s literally the highest compliment I can give; that you no longer look like a decaying alien. So, you’re welcome, LeAnn.

But I am curious as to what’s going on with her stomach situation. You can see it better in the pictures below, but it appears she’s swallowed an upside-down parking cone. That, or all six muscles in her six-pack have banded together as one giant tube-like entity and are attempting to make a run for it out her asshole. Or is this what it looks like when Luck Dragons are gestating? Maybe that’s a dragon egg inside her stomach! Dear China: There’s been a change of plans. Scrap the horse idea; 2014 is going to be the Year of the Dragon.

(Pics: Splash)

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