Hot Slut Of The Day!

Pizza Head! 

Today is Super Commercial Sunday (featuring that game where hot dudes in Spandex meggings try to tackle each other’s asses) and so it’s a perfect day to pay tribute to the commercial star of the 90s: Pizza Head (not to be confused with his human first cousin Cameron “Pizza Face” Diaz)!

According to Wikipedia, Pizza Hut created Pizza Head, because “weird advertising” was the shit to do in the 90s and they wanted a character that kids would get into. The creator of SNL’s Mr. Bill Show wrote all of the Pizza Head commercials and that mess ran from 1993 to 1997. Each Pizza Head Show commercial pretty much went down the same way. Pizza Head would introduce himself and then his arch rival, Steve the Pizza Cutter, and other evil whores would torture and destroy him. Pizza Hut was not right for this, because documenting pizza torture is the definition of evil.

Steve the Pizza Cutter and the rest of the evil doers in all those commercials should be jailed and forever imprisoned for the illegal acts of assholenesss committed against Pizza Head! A triangle head made of delicious dough, cheese and pepperoni deserves some respect! Oh, Pizza Head, I’d never hurt you. I’d just make out with you a bit before nibbling on your tip. (Side note: A new kind of desperate = me writing soft-core pizza porn.)