Clutch Your True Faith Crucifix: Ramona And Mario Singer Are Over

January 27, 2014 / Posted by:

A few months ago, crazy-eyed Ramona Singer of The Real Housewives of New York swore on the secret recipe for Ramona Pinot Grigio (read: turtle piss, white grape juice and meth) that her husband of 27 years Mario Singer stuck his raw 60-year-old peen into his 20-something socialite side piece and knocked her up. The socialite type Kacey Dexter later got an abortion. ¬†Ramona denied it all, but I guess she recently wiped the Pinot out of her eyes and is sick of Mario coming home smelling like a snatch that isn’t hers, because she kicked his ass out and hopped on a 20-something-year-old piece herself.

Page Six says that Mario didn’t stop boning Kacey Dexter and Ramona finally kicked him out of their UES apartment recently and she let him stay at their house in Southampton. Ramona hasn’t been crying on her back like an out-of-water trout gasping for air. She went out on a date with some 20-something dude named Travis Millard last Thursday.¬†Everything was Pinot and rainbows until Ramona went to their house in the Hamptons on Friday night and caught Mario with that tramp Kacey. Ramona, being the wine bottle full of 100 proof drama that she is, called the cops and when they showed up she told them that Mario choked her out. Page Six’s source says that Ramona made that part up and neither of them got violent on each other.

No one was arrested and zero charges were pressed. But before the cops left, Ramona threatened them with a good time by offering them a glass of Ramona Pinot. It wasn’t turtle time for the cops, so they declined her invitation and left.

This could be a STUNT QUEEN move to promote the new season of RHoNY, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. To me, Ramona and Mario have always looked like swingers who shouldn’t be swingers. You know, they are probably a total drag at swingers parties. Mario quickly gets himself a piece to fuck and after Ramona gets completely coked up, she suddenly gets jealous, pulls Mario off of his piece, slaps his peen, slaps his piece’s tits and then gets kicked out. Ramona cries and screams in the car ride home and Mario has to stop at a gas station to relieve his blue balls by jacking off into the bathroom sink. That pretty much sums up their entire marriage to me.

And I know Mario redefines slimey, but I still would.

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