Hot Sluts Of The Day!

One of the saddest facts in music history is that the words “….and the Grammy goes to the LA DREAM TEAM!” will never be spoken…. Unless the Grammy whores finally do what’s right by telling Beyonce, Madge, Macklewhore, Lorde, Katy Perry and all the other Grammy performers to take their asses home, because tonight’s show has been completely re-tooled and will be entirely devoted to the LA Dream Team! (Side note: The LA Dream Team of the 80s is not to be confused by the current LA Dream Team made up of Angelyne, Chicken Cutlets and Shauna Sand.)

iTunes radio usually does my ears wrong by playing shit songs by Justin Bieber and Train without warning me first, but it did me all the way right a couple of days ago when I pressed on the 80s channel and mid-80s hip hop perfection slid into my ear holes. When LA Dream Team’s “Rockberry Jam” played, I got hit by memories of watching my older cousins choreograph a dance to that shit in my auntie’s garage. They used folding chairs as props so you know they were serious about their art.

Rudy Pardee and Chris Wilson started the LA Dream Team in the early 80s in California and by the mid-80s they had two hits, “The Dream Team Is In The House,” and “Rockberry Jam,” which they released under their own label. Wiki says that the LA Dream Team are considered pioneers of the West Coast hip hop scene, so current reigning West Coast Hip Hop King Justin Bieber (Yes, my mouth filled with barf as I typed that) better put down his Disney Princesses sippy cup full of Sizzurp and bow down to the originals.

After they were signed to MCA, they put out three albums before disappearing in the 90s. They reunited in 1993 and a few years later Rudy Pardee became a member of the Heaven Dream Team when he died in a scuba diving accident. But his memory will forever live on with this masterpiece:  

And no, you’re not alone. I too sing “Cockberry Jam” instead of “Rockberry Jam.”

My Grammy drinking game for tonight is that every time somebody wins an award and it isn’t the last surviving member of the LA Dream Team (or Stacey Q or Hoku or the Mary Jane Girls) I’m going to do a shot anything within my reach.